EMERGENCY ACTION PLANNING > Blog > Communication > Five Things To Give Up For Your Independence
Five Things To Give Up For Your Independence
We are not going to discuss the birth of the nation.
There are plenty of others doing that today.
We will discuss your independence.
What it will take to make you free?
Five things to give up for your independence.
- Overthinking
- Fear of Change
- Living in the past
- Negative self-talk
- Trying to please everyone
Overthinking:
“Thinking has, many a time, made me sad, darling; but doing never did in all my life… My precept is, “Do something, my sister, do good if you can; but, at any rate, do something.”
― Elizabeth Gaskell,
It might feel like you’re problem-solving, but you’re actually not.
While many problems are resolved by giving them careful thought and deliberation, Weherenberg explains that “rumination is repetitive thinking — going over and over the same thought or problem without any resolution. A problem does not get solved: it intensifies by ruminating on it. It is simply repeating (typically negative) thoughts without mentally moving to a new perspective.”
Winch adds, “Rumination does not lead to new insights or understanding, it just spins us around like we’re trapped in an emotionally distressing hamster wheel.”
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhowes/how-to-stop-ruminating
My impression of overthinking resembles a dog chasing its tail. At some point, you will have enough information to make an informed decision.
Continuing to seek information because you think there must be more, becomes an arduous waste of time, energy and productivity.
Having access to a qualified instructor, coach or mentor will keep you on track.
Fear of Change:
“In moments of great change, we suffer, somehow hoping deep down that our emotions and our dramas can change the future or prevent it from happening. Future happens regardless.”
― Dragos Bratasanu, Ph.D.
We fear change because we can’t anticipate the outcome.
On one hand, we are hardwired to resist uncertainty — our brain prefers a predictable negative outcome over an uncertain one. On the other hand, our mind is flexible and adaptive — it can be trained to thrive in change.
Our fear of change is based on stories — both real and the ones we tell ourselves. We narrate our lives as if they are out of our control — we feel as we are playing a part someone else wrote for us.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/201809/how-overcome-the-fear-change
Change is constant in our lives. We change our clothes, minds, and attitudes daily. Sometimes we will make a change for no reason but to make a change.
With the support of someone who has gone down that path, the change becomes easily manageable with no fear.
Living in the past:
“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”
― Rick Warren
There is a difference between thinking about the past and living in it
Do you spend a lot of time reminiscing about the past? If the answer is yes, that’s okay. Thinking fondly about the past and looking back at the way things used to be isn’t a bad thing until it is.
Living in the past is a problem because it robs you of the opportunity to enjoy the present. Not enjoying the present? If you aren’t happy where you are, living in the past won’t help! Living in the past allows you to avoid dealing with issues in the present.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/living-in-the-past_b_5441033
We all have fond memories of something, someone, sometime or somewhere. Those memories greatly enrich our lives. Burying ourselves in them can become a problem when we ignore the now, for the then.
Unless we are using the past as a lesson for the now, we are limiting ourselves for what we can do in the future.
Think about the next 24 hours and what you can do to get to where you want to be.
Negative self-talk:
“Your self-talk is the channel of behavior change”
― Gino Norris
A lot of mental and emotional suffering comes from the way we talk to ourselves…
If our thoughts determine how we feel, that means how we habitually think will determine how we habitually feel.
Let that sink in for a minute because it’s arguably one of the most important ideas in all of psychology.
The practical implication is that if we want to change how we feel, we must learn how to change how we think.
Specifically, we need to learn how to identify and examine our habits of thinking and talking to ourselves if we want to feel better on a regular basis.
https://nickwignall.com/negative-self-talk/
You and I both do this. We do it daily, and sometimes we dive deep into the rabbit hole.
Thrashing blindly, rending our nails against the solid granite walls of our inner daemons looking for a way out until. Pop, you realize what you are doing and stop.
With the right training, we can ignore the nay-sayer sitting on our shoulder.
Sometimes we just need someone else to talk to besides ourselves.
Trying to please everyone:
“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world.”
-Jim Carrey
It’s hard to look out for yourself when you have no boundaries.
People-pleasing isn’t inherently a bad thing—it’s healthy to want to please your family or your supervisors. But there are times when your desire to please others can become problematic.
Sometimes the people who are most likely to say yes to everyone else’s requests are the least likely to ask others for help. If you struggle to ask for help—even with little favors or small tasks—you may be missing out on a lot of opportunities in life.
Neglecting your needs for the needs of others can cause problems.
If you don’t know it, you have permission to do what you want for yourself.
It is not your job to please others.
Often doing the right thing for our self will benefit those around us.
Common Denominator:
“If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement.”
― Jimmy Carter
Reviewing the five things to give up for your independence shows one common denominator.
That is you, me, us and the way we think.
We all are narrating the script to the movie in our mind. How we direct and act in that movie will greatly dictate the outcome of our lives.
Raise your standards.
Seek qualified instruction on your emergency action planning needs.
Take action.
The next 2019 EAP Workshop starts on 27 July 2019.
Email: info@eapworkshop.com with your contact information for a complimentary consultation on your emergency action planning needs. And secure a seat in the upcoming course.
Till next time
“Be Safe”
P.S. Who do you know that will benefit from this post?
Share it with them.
And leave your comments below.
I cannot read your mind.
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